I feel like more and more things keep getting piled into my brain as questions that need to be resolved. And there’s nothing I can do to answer them until it’s time for them to be dealt with. Kind of twiddling my thumbs a bit longer, although that seems like a flippant image. But things will resolve themselves one way or another and I’ll have more agency in all of that soon enough. Twiddle twiddle twiddle.
Yesterday I posted about making time for art practice and I held myself to that today by shaking down a couple friends for contributions to some collaborative work. And now I’m chomping at the bit to work on it. Writing a few ideas now, in between jotting this out.
Speaking of friends, I’ve mentioned I here how great some of my friends have been lately and how I’ve tried to be a better friend myself. This is true, but, on the flip side, I’ve also found that I’m working on being a ruthless mercenary. Partially as a defense mechanism, but also to keep a sense of optimism. Trying to take whatever lesson I can from a situation or letting things be a catalyst for good change.
The optimism is kind of hard sometimes and I’m dismayed to find that, for a variety of reasons and experiences, I tend to find myself expecting to be disappointed. I don’t want to be that person, though, even if I means accepting a modicum of vulnerability. Twiddle twiddle twiddle.