I wrote this on June 1st, when I decided to start updating this thing everyday for at least a month:

And, it seems like when things are tough, the first feeling to retreat may not be the best. And that one may appreciate being able to look back and reflect and measure.

So good morning, June. What’s new?

If anything, even through cryptic entries, I can see how this month has played out, where it has taken strange turns, where it has surprised me. NOW, you all know how pragmatic and Vulcan I can be, but I’m kind of feeling the “what you put out into the world, you get back” touchy-feely kind of stuff lately.

A couple years ago, I forced myself to do some sparkly mystical life planning sheets to focus my mind on what I really wanted to be doing with myself. And at first it didn’t seem to result in much, but I realized that what it really boiled down to was saying yes to things that I might have initially rejected because they didn’t fit in with my preconceived notions about myself. Or just allowing myself to enjoy things without feeling like a hypocrite. And more recently, making the decision to really be more open with people has paid back in spades. I feel like I’ve written this same thing over and over again during this month, but I can’t underscore how different it is for me, for a hermit crab to creep out of the shell (or Adirondack hideaway as the case may be for hermits).

I notice exactly where I started finding it hard to fill up entries because words are going elsewhere, in new and multiple directions. But I need to resist the idea that I’ve hit some sort of quota and I need to put things here to, so I can continue to reflect. I think this is pretty much that whole Secret thing that was big through Oprah awhile back right? Putting yourself and your intentions out into the world pays back dividends to you?

I don’t know how true THAT all was, but I can tell you that I’m not complaining right now about the dividends I’m receiving for the moment.