Boat

performed July 11, 2014 at the Syracuse Improv Collective Bank Show


Performance at Syracuse Improv Collective Bank ShowI want to rent a boat with you.
I want to put on boat shoes and rent a boat with you and sail it to an island and sleep there all night.
I want to rent a boat with you and drink gin and tonics all afternoon.

I want to collect driftwood and have a weenie roast with you.
I want to invite friends to the beach and dance in short shorts with you.
It doesn’t really matter which one of us has the short shorts on.

I want to wear fuckin’ high-end performance fleece with you.
I want to walk down the street of the tourist trap with you in our high-performance wicking fabrics and the other tourists will think we are hot shit in our fleece.


I want to buy an array of flip-flops with you.
I want to date paint samples with you using the Munsell color system.
I want to taste cheeses with you.


I want to burn the fuck out of the top of my mouth on pizza with you.
I want to burn it again on hot chocolate with you.
I want to exist entirely on the contents of this minibar with you.


I want to be dangerous with you. I want to be safe with you. I want to make you worry about me. I want to create legend with you.

I want to craft a special blend of potpourri or maybe tea with you.

I want to like completely different movies than you.
I want to cross the lake on a ferry with you back and forth until they shut down for the night.

I want to be completely platonic with you. I want to be everything but platonic.

I want to make you uncomfortable, like maybe this is about YOU. I want you to get that feeling deep inside that you WANT it to be about you. I want to avoid looking at you because if we made eye contact, it would DEFINITELY be about you. I want you to come up to me later and whisper “that was about me, wasn’t it?”
And I will say yes.


I want to sit on a rock with you. I want to look at my phone and ignore you.

I want to do it all again with you. I want to forget you. I want to move on from you. I want to think back fondly on you. I want to think about being with you.

I want to rent a boat with you.